She calls me the Shepherd. Kind of funny, really. Today she said:
“You should stop caring about things so much. You’re like a priest sometimes, like a pastor or a shepherd, that’s more like it really, a shepherd out all night trying to make certain even that one little stupid bastard lamb doesn’t run off and hurt it’s leg. Give me a break. Who needs all that? I’m gonna call you the goddamn Shepherd. Stop it. “
That’s how I remember it. She broke my heart at first, saying such terrible things journal, but I think now that she is right. I think now that I work too hard for others and that all of my waking hours I hurt for the souls around me. I want to touch them.....I should stop wanting that. There are other things I need to do. I can’t live my life pandering after God all the time, I have to do things too. I have my own things I like without God.
Be with me journal, we are taking a big step, hiding from God and going it alone. Away from the world of prophets for good, at home in her splendor. I will no longer go to the city to speak. How can I?///